Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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