Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
