i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
