I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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