remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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