Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
