It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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