So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
It's just like the Real World with babies
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
