The maid of honor just puked.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
