Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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