i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
