I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
