I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
3 2 1 whiskey
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
