You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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