Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I want to fling myself into the sun
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
