we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
