Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
