she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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