My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
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