i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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