O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize