Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
