I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
