Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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