we have pet lesbian snakes
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
