In America we eat man semen.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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