My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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