he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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