and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize