I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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