My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I came so hard my ears popped.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
