sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
