I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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