Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
