Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
