Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
