I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
