I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
