And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
