everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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