after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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