i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
