I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
