That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Text me some of your sweat
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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