she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
