I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
