mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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