It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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