Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
