That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
