Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
