Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
